This is what happens. There's a big tree in the middle of the village and everyone gathers around and then there are carols and sometimes someone who's supposed to be famous comes on stage and stands around for a bit. Then there's a big lever. Everyone counts down Ten. Nine. Eight...

When they get to zero the famous person pulls the lever and then nothing happens for a bit. Everyone stands around, not saying anything. Eventually, just as people are starting to shuffle and talk, the lights come on all at once. On the tree and all over the little square with the war memorial.

When the lights come on, people cheer. They actually clap and some of them make a noise like Ooooh like it's so pretty they can't believe it. But it's the same lights every year. And I never know who they're clapping. It's not the famous person. All they did was pull a lever. It's not the people who put up the lights, either, because they're not even there.